I am struggling with my first blog post. Mostly because I never in a million years thought I would write one. I am a very open person when I get to know and trust you, but we’re not exactly at that point, are we? But, if you’re like me and have gone through all those life changing moments that cancer heaps upon you, you know cancer has a way of shaking you up and leaving you altered.
So, I think I have to start with the concept of saying “yes” to yourself. When I was a kid I remember asking for permission and most times being told “no” before I even finished the sentence. I’m sure nurture enhanced nature, because I became a championship level “no” person. Every idea I’ve ever had came with my standard long list of cons. Of course, cancer isn’t an idea, it’s a reality – and reality has a way of smacking you in the face.
A lot of people say that cancer taught them to live life more fully, because they learned every day is precious. I get that, but I don’t really come at it from that angle. I was blessed to know early on in my cancer experience that I was not going to die. I did misinterpret that good luck to mean that my experience wasn’t going to be a big deal, which meant I had no right to get that upset about it. Of course, that assumption left me unprepared for the emotional toll cancer made me pay. But I went through it all and I eventually learned from cancer how strong I am. So maybe I can say “yes” without fear of failure, and probably fear of success. If I can handle cancer, I can handle anything.
I am grateful for the opportunity to learn to say “yes” more easily than I used to. The creation of Where We Go Now is a direct result of learning to say “yes” and letting an idea breathe and grow – to see how far you can take it – or maybe how far it can take you. It’s an exciting and new experience for me and one which I am learning every day to just let happen.
Survival > Existence,
Image courtesy of Jonathan Crow