I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart. I am. I am. I am. Sylvia Plath
I’m still a Girl Scout in that I always have a project (or two or three or ten) going. Add in to-do lists (actual and mental) and it can get exhausting.
This year, my big project was birthing my books, You Can Thrive After Treatment and How to Build an Amazing Life After Treatment. Like any first-time Mom, I jumped in with no idea what I was doing. Self-publish eBooks and paperbacks on Amazon? Sure, why not? I figured I would figure it out and approached gingerly. I eventually made it happen, but it sure took a lot of time.
Just yesterday, a day after the paperbacks launched and the six month process was finally complete, a thought quietly struck me.
Stop. Look at what you’ve accomplished. Don’t just push on to something else. Take a moment to appreciate. And, you dumb bunny, take a moment to rest.
Yes, I really do talk to myself in the third person. And, yes, I really do insult myself when I feel the need.
The voice in my head forced me to remember the lesson of last week’s sudden, untimely death: “Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life.” Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment
Right now, instead of ramping up for the next project, I need to rest. Especially now, during the holiday season, subtracting makes much more sense than mindlessly adding to my list of things I convince myself have to be done.
Which brings me to my “problem.” My husband keeps asking me what I want for Christmas and I cannot give him an answer. What I want to say is completely reminiscent of what my mother used to say when the same question was asked of her: “Peace and quiet.”
Yes, Mom, I hear your voice in my head and I so get it now. I too want peace and quiet of mind. I want the disease of busy, to which I have lost a few friends, to cease and desist. I want to be still and ignore worrisome thoughts like so many clouds floating across the sky.
In our “Just do it” society, I want to just be.
As I watch my breath I want to know with each “I am” beat of my heart that I am enough, with no need for the “validation” that comes from busyness.
Really, all I want is a little break. I fully expect to lean back in come January, when I’m refreshed and ready to push forward on new challenges.
But January is later; now is now.
“Stop” the thought said; appreciate the now.
I am learning to listen.
Survival > Existence,
Where We Go Now 
Wow, can I relate. I am
Wow, can I relate. I am committed to having a calm, stress free holiday season as well (something I promised myself I would do each year after having bc) but am starting to feel the familiar pull, and feel myself getting sucked back into the vortex of holiday madness. I just this hour decided NOT to go to a holiday networking event tonight because frankly, I am exhausted from a day of working/Christmas shopping/being a mom. I am all about taking things OFF the list, well put. Good luck, I think you’ll do it, you have a great plan. xo
Let’s Keep Sanity in the Season
Claudia:
You’re a girl after my own heart! Let’s keep taking things off the list – and keeping sanity in the season. I’m with you! Have a beautiful weekend.
Survival > Existence,
Debbie
your blog post
Beautifully written, Debbie, as usual – but your message is so inspiring. I am trying so hard this Christmas, and also last, to enjoy the present (not presents – but presence!), stay in the moment, let go of the things that make me feel grumpy and overwhelmed and truly remember and enjoy my blessings. Your post is a wonderful reminder on a beautiful sunny morning – to just breathe – to see what is around with me awe and wonder – and to listen to my heart. Thank you! Keep peace in your heart and have a wonderful Christmas – enjoy your kids – and the beauty and light of this season 🙂 See you in 2014!
Thanks, Michele! Have a Beautiful Christmas!
Thanks so much, Michele! It’s a simple idea, but taking a moment to stop and breathe is the best advice I know for making the season enjoyable and uplifting. I’m making soup today and enjoying the snow outside my window. I hope you and your family have a merry, beautiful Christmas and a very Happy New Year! See you soon!!
Survival > Existence,
Debbie
I am. I am. I am.
Nicely put – “In our “Just do it” society, I want to just be.” I’m at a similar point, having done so much work for the release of my novel and now . . . now, it is time to rest. The Sylvia Plath quote is also quite perfect. I need to repeat it often. ~Catherine
Congratulations on Your Novel!
Wonderful Video
I too am a fan of Brene Brown and love this video. When we lose someone or something precious to us, when we are diagnosed with a life-threatening illness like cancer, or when life just knocks us down, people tend to respond in a variety of ways. Some try to ease the suffering with platitudes or try to force us to look for the silver linings, the blessings inherent in life’s struggles; others avoid us not knowing how to handle our pain; and then there are those who say to us “I am sorry. I don’t know what to say to you to ease your pain, but I am here for you”. This is the difference between offering someone your sympathy and your heartfelt empathy.
It’s a Lesson I’m Happy to Keep Learning
Hi Marie:
The beauty of Brene’s work is its simplicity and truth. I know I haven’t always said the right thing when I needed to be there for someone else. I’m happy to learn (and re-learn) so I can do better. I guess it’s all about being wholehearted, rather than just going through the motions or acting out our discomfort.
Survival > Existence,
Debbie